For a couple of years now, I’ve worked with clients regarding the impact that conflicting intentions can have on a person’s success, but it wasn’t until this year – 2005 – that I got to experience the impact firsthand.
Before I tell you my experience with it, let me explain exactly what it is. If consciously and outwardly you have the intention to achieve something – anything – but subconsciously (internally) you feel or believe just the opposite, the intentions are in conflict and cancel one another out. The consequence is that you get average, mediocre results.
Let me offer a simple example. If you decide you want to achieve a certain sales goal, but inside – in your heart of hearts – you feel that having lots of money will make you superficial or insincere (yes, some people feel this way), then no matter how hard you work, your results will just be OK. Not great. Not poor. Just OK. However, when you are able to release – truly release – the conflicting intention or belief, you allow the Universe to help you accelerate. And you achieve your goals.
Intentions and beliefs that cause conflict come in all shapes and sizes. Here are some examples that I’ve seen. (And I’ve seen the results that people have when they release them.)
• I’m not worthy of great success
• I don’t think I can handle the workload if I’m really successful
• Someone really attractive wouldn’t be interested in me
• People with lots of money are materialistic
• If I have plenty of money, people will want to use me or take advantage of me
• If I have lots of success, I’ll have to do too much of the things I don’t enjoy
• It’s not fair for me to succeed when so many others don’t succeed
These intentions and/or beliefs run the gamut of emotions, often don’t make logical sense, and are always very personal. Sometimes we bury them very deeply. But in every case, we know they’re there.
Now to my experience this year with conflicting intentions…
I’ve built what most coaches would consider to be a successful business. The problem was I hadn’t ever reached the level of success that I wanted. My level of success was very consistent – and very flat. Then, this past year, two major events occurred in my life. I went through a divorce and my father died. We had decided a couple of years ago to go our separate ways in 2005 and, although we have had some painful moments surrounding the divorce, we remain friends. That wasn’t where the conflicting intention resided. Instead, it lay in a subtle aspect of our relationship; an aspect that caused me – somehow, in some way – to hold back in my business success. When the formalities of the dissolution were behind us and I was able to release the internal “intention” that was conflicting with my external intention, my business started to grow. Not only did it start to grow, it started to grow by 50% a month!
And then, a couple of months later, my father died. I was never very close to my dad, but his death had a great impact on me. I had a number of feelings and emotions surrounding his death, but one of them led to the following insight. Do you know what happens when both of your parents die? (My mother had died many years ago.) You become an orphan. Now, most of us think of orphans as small children, but in fact, anyone without parents is an orphan. This led to an important shift for me. (Obviously, everyone will not feel this way.) I came to realize that I had always considered myself to be my father’s son, and as such, could always fall back on him. Now that he was gone, I had no one to rely on but myself. When I released this conflicting belief of being able to fall back on someone else (I never said these intentions/beliefs made sense!), my business skyrocketed. Within months of his death, I had my best month ever. Not only was it a great month, but I blew the lid off, bettering my previous very best month by over 50%! And the growth continues…
Over the years I have worked with many clients to help them identify and release their conflicting intentions. When they are able to release them, their world changes. Dramatically. Their business takes a leap forward and the future they once envisioned becomes a real possibility. If you are one of the many professionals struggling to break through your apparent ceiling on success, consider what conflicting intentions you are harboring. It takes some quiet, reflective time and a willingness to listen to and acknowledge your inner voice. But you’ll find it to be THE most productive thing you can do to accelerate your success.